What a week! Between the hangover from the holidays, a very important project go-live, quarterly reviews and 2019 kickoff planning – I’m toast. I’ve taken the day off, it’s noon and so far I’ve already taken my first nap of the day (it’s only 1PM). I’m not sure if I’m going to need another nap but hey, it’s an option. These last couple of weeks have been crazy both professionally and personally but the biggest stress of it all has been with my 1st grader.
The Problem
His class uses a ranking system to give immediate feedback to the student on their behavior. Every time a student doesn’t follow a part of the rules they have to “peg down” to the next color. The colors are as follows:
- Purple – EXCEPTIONALLY AMAZING DAY
- Blue – Met expectations for the day – ALL KIDS START HERE EVERY DAY
- Green – Had one correction
- Yellow – Had two corrections
- Orange – Had three corrections
- RED – A bad day, call the parents, it’s time for a chat.
My son’s kind, caring and gentle soul just can’t seem to follow the class rules and he’s having a tough time. Now, before you lose your lunch in outrage about holding a little 1st grader to unrealistic standards, you need to know the school rules. They are:.
- Be kind.
- Be safe.
- Do your job.
His “job”, besides being a good human, student and classmate, consists of simple things like:
- When coming into the class:
- put your folder in the folder bin.
- grab a chair off of the stack and place it at your desk.
- grab your “blurt beans”, place them in a cup and put them on your desk.
- When you leave your desk, push in your chair.
- When you leave for the day, stack your chair.
- Be courteous and patient when you have something to say (AKA – raise your hand).
Why is it important for every kid to do their job? My son is in a class with 18 kids. I have a hard time managing 11 little mite hockey players, I can’t imagine spending an entire day herding cats while teaching a day full of lessons even with reinforcements (room parents, volunteers and helpers, classes with other teachers in other parts of the school, etc.). However, in order for his class to be successful, each student needs to help with the simple things – doing their jobs – so that the simple things don’t slow them down. When a student doesn’t do their job the system breaks down. The key to success is for each student to do their job.
How We Handled It
After getting through the initial frustration of him coming home consistently below blue, I sat down and was amazed and thankful for the lessons he is learning every day. Every day he’s being taught the most important practical lesson a human being should learn. Yes, even though he is a unique soul that has his own thoughts, feeling and ambitions; those thoughts, feelings and ambitions need to be managed in conjunction with his duties as a student and classmate. It’s not any different than your working environment. Really! Think about it! You’re probably laughing to yourself because you’re remembering that one time, not too long ago, you thought to yourself, “If <that person> would just DO THEIR JOB, I wouldn’t have to <do this thing I’m doing now>!”
Why This is Important to You
Most of you reading this have a job that you get paid to do that allows you to do things with the money you earn and, if you don’t do that job, you don’t get paid, you don’t have money and you can’t do things. Now, before you throw your copy of Atlas Shrugged at me, you have got to agree with me that you feel your best when you contributing and productive. Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent, solo-preneur, entrepreneur, small business owner, worker for a company, etc.; when you do a good job, you feel productive, you feel good and you sleep well at night.
You can measure how good of a job you did by the positive or negative feedback loops around you. This can be observed by the “feel” of your environment, the results you’re achieving (financial or otherwise), the growth you experience (career or personal). Bottom line, if you’re feeling good and those around are feeling good, and you are growing in a positive direction, you’ve received feedback that you’re doing a good job.
The Practical and Pragmatic Feedback Loop
Here’s where it all comes together. We are only as good as the results we create and the feedback we receive; however, giving feedback isn’t easy. It’s an art form that only gets better with experience and teaching.
In my son’s case, his teacher is using a consequence (pegging down) to give him the immediate feedback that he is not doing his job. The children in the class know the pegging system is a way to gauge how they are generally performing in the class. Further, the daily report the parents receive (and have to sign) shows how well the student performed on a give day. The purpose is not to shame but to reinforce the fact that each student has a job do to and the immediate feedback loop is a reinforcement of this known rule.
As an adult, it’s practical to give or receive feedback in a situation where you are directly affected by the decisions of those around you. In your work environment, this may look like thanking your co-worker for doing a great job because their task made your day easier. It’s best to provide this feedback as soon as you can and in a manner that is spoken clearly and concisely.
However, thinking pragmatically, you have to give feedback in a manner that is appropriate for the situation and environment you find yourself in as well as the person you’re giving the feedback to. If your co-worker is generally grouchy and has a tendency to be rude, there’s a chance your feedback will be unheard and go unnoticed (if this your reality, please comment below as this is a much larger problem because you have a horrible manager).
The Takeaway
Yes, I know he’s in 1st grade, but before you get your knickers in a knot, you’ve got to look at the lesson being taught. For my son, I’m thankful that this is happening at this time in his life. His teacher isn’t stepping back and saying, “WELP, he’s just a 1st grader, he’ll get it someday.” She knows that going to school is tough and each student has to learn key lessons in order to succeed at the next level. She is constantly reinforcing and teaching him the important life lesson that we all need to understand – we all have to do our job to keep the train moving. Further, he’s experiencing an immediate feedback loop that allows my wife and I to work with him on creating appropriate systems that help him grow into a better human. I wish the same for each of your children; further, I wish the same for YOU in your workplace/career. It’s only going to make us better.